Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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