I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
