need another drink. this is the easiest way
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
