too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
