he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
