the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i think i just lost a toe
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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