You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
