And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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