i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
