u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
