I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
only if we run a train.
done.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
