i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize