I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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