Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Houston, we have a squirter
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
