I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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