on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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