Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
