i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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