I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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