On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
