dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
