You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
