I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
