Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
