Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
