He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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