do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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