Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
