he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize