i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
