I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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