when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Randomize
