Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
