She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
