On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize