I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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