I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
