At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
