I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
