toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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