im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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