I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
