honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
