Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
