he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
