you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
