i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
