Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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