should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
