It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No more Irish car bombs ever.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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