READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize