Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize