I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
