I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Come see our sink grown plant.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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