before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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