thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
