Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
