that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
