Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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