i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
did you just send me my own nude
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
