That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If I die, sorry about rent.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
