i just wanna soil my oats bro
i was born a porn star she said
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
