If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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